Mostly, I love being asked for a favor. Usually, they're so easy to fulfill. You feel like the good guy and the other person gets what they need. How can you go wrong with that? What gets tricky is when you are asked to do a real favor. For me, that means anything that has me getting up before 6 or leaving the house before 9 am When you're a night owl, you see how the world favors early birds. Early to bed, early to rise, early bird specials, blah, blah, blah. Night owls get a bum rap. We're wastrels, second class citizens. At best they we're watching Leno, at worst we're carousing into the wee hours. But the brunt of the judgment is reserved not for what we do at night but for what we're don't get done in the morning. Admit it, most people think if you're not up by 8, you're pathetic. Now you don't see us night owls dissing people who start fizzling at 4 pm, do ya? And how often do you hear people talk about they're steam running out mid-afternoon. Not from me. That's when I get going.
Anyway, I digress. So how to handle the request for a real favor? The "will-you-take-me-to-the-airport-at-5:30-in- the-morning" type of favor from someone who hasn't taken you to the airport for 3 decades? The kind of favor that leaves your jaw hanging. And the weird thing, is that my first response to that kind of favor -- and probably a lot of people's is to say yes, without hesitation. Because you put yourself in their shoes and you assume that no one would make such a request unless they had absolutely no other choice. So how can you say no to someone in that position?
The real question is, after you agree to something that really puts you out -- and in my case it meant that for the whole rest of the day I felt like I had had only 2.5 hours of sleep because I had had only 2.5 hours of sleep -- do you moan and groan first before you say yes or do you just say yes. Now I know, because I've surveyed people at work, that those who of you who are better than me (and that woudl be most of you, as one of my children often reminds me) would say that if you agree to do a favor, you should do so without squawking.
Now I might have been saintlike about the whole thing if anything but waking up early was at issue. Taking someone to the airport is really not such a big deal. You talk, you catch up. Hey you even earn a chit for future favors. (and there's nothing that can make you feel more secure than knowing that you're on the plus side of these things.) But I had to get up at 5AM!!! So I guess I wanted to make sure that I was getting full credit. So I had to clarify almost immediately: "Now you're aware that I go to bed at 2? Now you are aware that my partner works the swing shift?" (In other words, you're aware that this is a HUGE favor?)
This is not the true Jew way of doing a mitzvah. I know this because I went to Jewish day school And for those of you who're not sure what that entails, it means you spend twice as much time in school as other kids and carry a curriculum that includes Jewish philosophy, Talmud, Mishnah (you can look both of those up, suffice it to say they're the reason there are so many jews in the legal profession) and that you have to do Israeli dance during recess (to Pioneer music with lyrics about irrigating the desert, I swear). In yeshiva, you are taught the degrees of piety everyday. The good person gives to someone who knows the donor. The better person gives to someone who doesn't know the donor. And the best person doesn't know to whom he is giving, nor does the recipient know the donor. You just give to give.
But hey. I'm not perfect.
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